PINDAH RUMAH

I'VE MOVED PEOPLE! COZ I'VE MOVED ON TO TUMBLR. ASK IF YOU WANT TO BE UPDATED.

Your Wish Is My Command

The dreadful (well, actually it wasn't THAT dreadful) 6 weeks attachments are over! I'm looking forward to 2weeks of relaxation till the NOT anticipated 4 months of PRCP. I miss school actually right now.. It's definitely much more fun than having walking and standing all day till your legs forgot what it is to bend the limbs. With people who have no sense of patience to *ehem*uncles*ehem* who seem to be so preoccupied with their own self ignorance that they think they are still able to lure girls around the *ehem*wrinkly*ehem* pinkie fingers. Let's just say, it's no longer 1940s darlings... its 2009 going to 2010.

I've had my holidays planned.. Early mornings will be for swimming. Some days to school.. Meet up with my attachment CI, Ms Ai Ling, with some of my attachment lovelies. Read some books and maybe go for the 14th outing. Though I must say, I'm a tad bit lazy for it.

Better take care of yourself.. Tonsil-less. :)

Officially missing you

I just love this song.. Especially how Rin on the Rox carries it.
& probably coz I'm officially missing you. :)

Unpredictable

I've just got to know that you've left. & I keep thinking back, we've just met yesterday.. I've known you since I was a little girl and you'd always bring me your home made kuihs. I'd call you 'nenek with the white jubah with gold chains around her neck'. How time flies..

I pray that you'll be happy wherever you are.
& I'm sure you're beaming up there, close to God.

Selamat Hari Raya

Selamat Hari Raya to all Muslims! This year I'm not as anticipated for the festive season as I've been the previous years. Probably it's due to the fact I'm growing older and soon, it'll be my turn to be the one handing out green packets to the non-working ones. :S Anyhoos, I'll like to take this opportunity to seek for forgiveness to those I've done any wrong doings to. (Not on purpose, that is) Hope you guys have a lovely Raya. To my family in Aberdeen, I love n miss you guys deeply.. Selamat Hari Raya.. Azie ingin pohon maaf atas kesalahan2 Azie.. Moga hari istimewa ini membawa lebih kebahagiaan bagi kami sekeluarga. :) (I knw...I sound so baku.) Iqah I promise to post your contacts soon. Kakak has been extremely busy sayang.. Love you guys!

Attachments has been fun! & it was a sad departure from Ward 11. I seriously love the staff and even the patients. Even when the patient has AMS and I've gotten kicks from this mentally disturbed amahs. I've been using a hell lot of muscle during this attachment (& I've been fasting!) Wrestling and pinning people down is hard labour. :)


& I will always love you...
My darling you...

Ive always loved this song. & the movie, The Bodyguard.

Diagnosis: Affection

After months, I thought I had lost my kitten for good. Imagine my surprise when I saw her back home all big and I think, pregnant. 0.0 I felt like an old maid talking to a cat about running away frm home and returning back home pregnant, when the guy doesnt even bother. Then my little cousin came up to me and said 'She's a cat... cats dont have husbands..' I looked at him, annoyed at first and then I was in a laughing fit. Plus, the cat was sleeping all along while I was nagging away about being gatal.

So now I have 2 cats and the other one seems to be jealous. I keep reminding them that they are twins except probably the other 1 is jealous coz the sister's a mum-to-be. :)

So my day starts off the same eversince 2 days ago where I'll rush to ward 12,bed 14.
6.30AM, 12PM and 3PM. Tomorrow will be different though. Probably my dearest patient will be discharged. :) Ure one hell of a pampered patient. Hahaha..


Diagnosis: Euphoric sensations related to emotional attachment.

:)

Surrender

It was a random question regarding 2 years ago. A simple and innocent question but I found it hard to answer coz it made such a huge impact and it does affect me till now. I sat staring back at the screen and my mind went back to the exact moment where I felt I made such a huge mistake till it drove me to the deepest depths of sorrow. Back when even my closest friends said I was like a walking zombie and broke down and shattered with no warning. That was probably the darkest moment so far. I wouldn't talk much and it felt painful, even, to try to recollect myself.
Then, I let you help me find myself and pick up those pieces which I thought were lost forever. At first, it was just a temporary phase but I guess you've grown in me. It's a wonder why till now it's hard to loosen the grip. & in the end, it's my lost. & in the end, I'm left sitting,waiting, with 2 screens looking back at me...bare.

Time Check 2

I've just finished watching a Hindustan movie & been crying my eyeballs out.


So much for entertainment.


Time Check: 4.01AM
@ least I knw You're fine.
Get Well Soon.

Timechecks

Time check: 11.58PM
Waiting online.


Now now, attachment doesn't seem as bad as I thought it would be actually. I enjoy going to work these days coz the staff are really really nice and they're..well let's just say, have a personality close to mine. :) This time round, working in the afternoon shift is my preference due to the fact the work flow is way managable. Today was sort of testing my patience, due to 1 of the patients (being oh-so-NICE). Having a patient, you got to be patient... -.- There were tonnes of instances where I almost lost my cool. Like I said to Jijah, 'Aku jadi minah untok 5min baru tau..kene body slam nant' My cuzzins didn't call me badak when I was in primary school for nothing baby! HAHAHA. Badak.


I'm hungry now..


Ok, I just got a chocolate bar. & it's sinfully good.. *melts in my mouth not in the hand*


Hari Raya is coming and I've yet to shop for a handbag/clutch. My uncle thinks I've got too many bags and insists I use one of my old ones but my aunt came to the rescue stating. 'alaa...you kan tau pmpn suke shopping!' :) So true... And I'm contemplating to get another set of baju raya coz I'm not fully satisfied with my current piece.

I'm bored now.


Very Bored.



Time check: 12.20PM
I'm still waiting.

miss; to regret the absense or loss of

It's only been 2 days of attachments and my feet are so sore from standing and walking for 8hours. I've got blisters even when I'm wearing converse sneakers.. -.- So, today was quite hectic coz I've been assigned to be in charge of 1 patient. I can't imagine during PRCP,it will increase to 6 and 12 once I graduate. So yeah yadaa yaadaaa..... Been a while I've been posted to a female ward.. i prefer the male ward actually. No, not because I have this weird fetish for older men who makes my heart go all gooey with their toothless smiles. I just think they are much more tolerable. Ok2... Probably I do have a slight fetish for them... :) hahahaha!


It's the fasting month and I have a pile load of cravings! From cepedak goreng to bandung to nasi ambeng. I think instead of shedding the pounds, I'll gain some. :) So much for the pact I made with Nadia. I just got myself a packet of skittles and a box of Magnum ice cream. I think the Magnum commercial is so cute that I want to be treated like royalty too.. Hence, the purchase. Right now I'm thinking of what to get for my breaking of fast tomorrow.. Or will I be having it with Mr Grumps (buy me food laaaa...)hahaha. Coz the canteen will be closed by 5pm.

Shit...now I'm having a darn backache and the feet are having semut2..

I miss a bunch of people now...
- The person I had the most recent call with
- TheBestGirlfriend
- Sheila Weila
-Danialllllllll
-Family Back In scotland
-Izza
& etc...

I got to GOT TO meet up with them. But the schedule is sooo packed now. I love you guys! You know that??? *kisses and hugs!*




So let me be the one, coz I like the way you are
-The One, RJ feat Dewi

no.1

I AM number 1, so why try harder??


I'm a fat kid who loves fat cakes! Yum!
*shakes the flabby arms*
Woooo!!!

Shake Ya Tail Feather

Exams are over and done with! Not really actually, I'm just left with 1 more module and I'm done! So baby, it's time to shake ya tail feather! *does the soldier boy* Next week marks the start of my attachments all the way till 25th February. Sucks? Yes.. Got to get use to it though since I'll be working as a Staff Nurse throughout after my graduation. :)

Fasting month is here, and I HAVE to lose some kilos. (i knw..i knw..i've said this sooo many countless times) This time, I mean it coz I've made a pact with Nadia. I have a target, I just need the will but food are my major weakness. Coz I enjoy my food first and cry about my weight later. :)


Baybay Baybay!
Come here and make my days..

Bipolar

Agony, Joy? I'm unsure of how I feel right now. At one moment I'm joyous and in a snap, I feel so hollow.. It's frustrating coz at one moment I feel like laughing and the next, im on verge of breaking down...

I miss them so much.
& I miss you too.

Where It Matters The Most

Just had my dinner and I'm feeling quite lazy at the moment, but seeing my blog being left out bare, I feel guilty for not updating for a while now.

So the past weeks have been well spent. With the family and all.. Went to KL last 2 weeks and my god, did I shop! I got myself a new bag, new sandals, accesories, shades and perfumes! Seriously, I LOVE to shop.. :) So, we were stuck in a jam at 2nd Link for 3 hours! I know... I could have gotten myself a husband, registered at ROM and maybe..just maybe... have my wedding ceremony done while waiting in futile in that whole stretch of road. -.- See? I could've gotten MARRIED. My dad drove as if the road was his own and there were several instances where he almost crashed into cars and (almost) dozed off. -.- I consider myself lucky to be here now in 1 whole piece. In my mind I was like 'Eh eh org tua nie...konon2 F1 race ke??' As much as I love you ayah, I hate your driving... hahaha. Back to the story, once we reached KL, due to the fact we didnt book a hotel in advance, we had to look for 1 on that day itself. So there we went,getting a 'No rooms' from 5..yes you heard it right..5 HOTELS. All of them were fully booked. Darn those Arabians who were literally flooding KL at that time. So we managed to get a suite in Mandarin Oriental. The price was a hefty one but heck! I LOVE THE BATHROOM! Im too lazy to update with pictures now.. but I'll post them up soon. AWESOME TOILET!! I could have gotten married in the bathroom and I would be delighted. (enough of marriage now..)

Days after that was awesomely spent.. especially last Saturday! Sun, Sand, Sea, family & friends. I was laughing and smiling most of the time.. Thank you for making it happen :) Love you guys deep2! Had my Nicole Schezenger moment (everybody now..HAHAHAHAHAHA!) nie badak air konon2 Nicole.. More like Queen Latifah Zeemaa.... A girl can dream, can't she? :)

Exams are next week and I'm horrified eventhough there are only 2 papers, God please help me. Attachments on the 31st Aug and a long stretch of 6 weeks follows.. 2weeks of holiday and BAMMM!! PRCP till the 25th of February. (I knw... I Knw...it's your birthday..) haha.. I can't wait for the 4th of March. Angelina Colie and Brad 'Arm' Pitt. We're so gonna rock the red carpet! *i think, that is....* Heee!


Now2, you've got me with those looney-some antics
And seriously, you've got me hooked, Badly.
:)

The Man I'll Always Love

Throughout my years, you've always been there for me.
Eventhough I used to blame you for the turbulence I went through in the past,
I apologise.
You've always been the permanent love from a man that can never be replaced..
The one guy I know I can rely on to when the storm comes
Never have you've made my heart ache,
Instead, I've etched pain into yours.. And I can see by the line in your face.
The roughness of your palms just to show how hard you've worked for me and the pain that I see through in your eyes.
At times I've been arrogant and simply push you away when you try to get closer.
Pardon me Love, for I may not show you my affection but never doubt that you're my number 1 man.
For you have given me life, given me life's luxury and happiness which makes my days..

I'll always love you.
Not even death can change that.. I assure you.
When you grow old, I'll hold those creased hands and guide you through the wonders of life you've shown me..

For I do love you..
And you're the best I will ever have.

This is for you Ayah. Your babygirl sucks at showing her love.. But you're always in my heart.

Coz I Can Back It Up

Currently stuck to Beyonce's Ego. It's seriously swagger-ish for a girl and damnnn.. it's diva-ish! Love it love it love it...


Slept over at Jurong on Wednesday and we had a tonne of fun especially the part when Mama wanted to park her car coz we wanted to have a late night supper at Mr Teh Tarik. So, us four ladies were shouting and pointing at slots (which happened to be for handicaps) waited for roughly 10minutes and kept ourselves entertained by singing to the tunes on the radio. With all the shouting, showing of fingers and cussing, we ended up laughing like hell while the little brother slept through our rampage. There was one part where Mama wanted to be excused and she giggles like a fifteen year old. Seriously! GIGGLED! Adorable kn?

Thursday, met Mama and the siblings over at Jurong Point and headed over to the Singapore Flyer. I was tired and there had to be a foreign guy who happened to cut the line.. Bad move. I snapped at him and glared with my belolok eyes. Picked the wrong girl to mess with on that day. Even Mama said 'So fierce ah?' *wags eyesbrows* The Flyer wasn't as captivating as I'd expected it to be.. Probably coz the IR isn't up yet and mostly I saw was construction works and cranes. But I'm happy that I did treat my family coz at least they had a night to remember during their trip here. Love you guys! Anw I think I look great in the pic taken for the flyer picture. hurhur... Mama said 'Wait, the next time we come here again, I'll wear my fake eyelashes and makeup!' Cheeky woman!

The past few weeks, I've been a victim of crazy lunatic taxi drivers. Seriously!One minute they look normal then BAMMMM!!!! they go knocking on their windows and go talking furiously about foreigners and HDB flats! =.= I'm prone to crazy taxi drivers now... Then they'll educate me on the roads of Singapore and teach me about courtesy when all I did was not want to take the Mercedes cab. =.= and nag and nag coz Mama doesnt know her road so I had to use landmarks as help. And it all happened with my sisters in the cab with me.


Exams are coming... Project datelines are piling up. I am paranoid...

















Come and hold my hand.... :)

SOS

Coz my final year project makes me want to kill myself and break down.

Revampe-d

My Sunday was a lazy one. Was supposed to wake up in the morning for my religious class but I woke up at 10.30 which was the exact time my class starts.. Went to my Haleem's room and he was giving his i-also-woke-up-late-so-there's-no-need-to-go-today. Had a shower, went back to my room and I had a breakfast date with the laptop. Decided to revamp this page of mine and vooaalaah! Though I'm still a computer idiot coz I don't really know how to insert my tagbox into the page so lovely people, if you do know, do enlighten me?

Right now, everyone is falling sick. I felt really guilty coz some of the people close to me got the bug and I'm being all paranoid thinking it's all my fault. Apologies if I did. :(
Don't forget to have your medicines and do take in sufficient Vitamin C. And of course, rest. :)

I miss my Mom so much so I can't wait to sleep over at my house in Jurong. Probably if my pay is in, I'll bring the family up the Singapore Flyer. Broke I will be soon and that means no meals in school, but heck, they are here only once a year and I'm not letting an empty stomach in school stop me. Yezzir!

Somethings just change and I cnt lie and say I'm not disappointed. Coz I am.. And being who I am or my status, I feel obliged but at the same time hesistant to voice out my perspectives on the matter. Like me, probably you're having a case of double personality.. If I could talk to you now, I'd say take things slow..What's the rush? You have more years to come to waste it all down the drain. you said you'd fight for it coz you thought this was 'The One' but instead, you let something so indistinctive crumble it all? I expected so much more than this and having being ignorant at times, all I can say is... At the end of the day, when everyone goes away in dismay... When the ones you thought mattered leaves... I'll still be here and I'll hold my hand out for you. My shoulders will be here for you to cry on. I'll wipe away those tears. Believe it or not Love, my love for you has no limits.


So yesterday there was kenduri at Bok Dede's house.. The boys did their usual thing and the girls were taking pictures and talking. I didn't expect such a drastic change.. And even that, they said this was wayy better than before. I'm so sorry I didn't get to see you before this. All I can do is pray for your recovery. Amin..
Went up bukit gombak hill to see the boys' usual site and Abg Ki was rather surprised that I volunteered to go there.. Being a girl doesn't mean I have to be all sissy-ish. -.-



I Love Azman Daniel Deans :)

One Of A Kind

Coz you & I were a tough act to follow...

My Dream in a Dream

Randomly looking at my friends' pictures in FB and blogs, I can't help but to feel envious. Like how a particular couple looks so comfortable with each other... How their smiles just want to make me smile along and even their hands seem to fit each other's like a second skin. Being stuck in this situation has brought me both happiness and joy. But at the back of my mind, I'm still confused... Where do I stand?

Playing games was never my forte.. I've always been the kind to stick by and give my all.

If I could, I would want to look into the future and tell him, please hurry and sweep me off my feet. And my love would know no boundaries.

Dumb Blogger

I swear I was so mad at blogger due to the fact that it was all chaotic for the past few days. Seriously, I'm on quarantine and I got really really bored and I just wanted to update my blog. Sheesshhh...

1st up, quarantine. On Monday, I went to see the doctor coz I had been sick since Friday. Being the stubborn girl that I am, well, I postponed the appointment 3 days later. The doctor suspected I was hit by the H1N1 bug and readied up all his prescriptions including 2 N95 masks. I was all red-faced and hot when I went to the counter so imagine how my eyes bulged and my face got redder when I got to know that my medical bill was $100?? 0.o I would have gotten better treatment and my bill wouldn't be THAT expensive if I had seen a doctor at the hospital.. I would rather get admitted into a ward and have them draw my blood to confirm the diagnosis. But noooo....I had to be all lazy and go to the doctor right opposite of my block. So there I went looking like dark vader with my N95 calling my dad saying what the doctor had said. I'm such a blabber mouth when I'm sick.

So I'll be turning 20 this year right? But I'm treated like a 6 year old whenever I'm sick. My dad will never fail to get me my favourite apple juice (which by the way is meant only for his princess) hahaha.. and now that Mama is in SG, she woke up early in the morning (which is rare for her whenever in SG) and cooked me fish porridge. Eventhough she had a busy schedule, she even drove from Jurong to Woodlands just to give me the porridge. (which by the way was put in nicely into 2 containers..Lunch and Dinner) She kept going 'Be careful...there are fish bones'
My younger sisters rolled their eyes and went 'Ma! you nvr made us porridge when we're sick in Aberdeen!' Im turning 20 and my parents dote on me so much. You could see the worry in their faces whenever I turn sick. Mama kept looking at me eat as if I'd die choking from a fish bone. It's mean to say this but when I was a child, I'd always like to think myself as the favourite child. :) I love my family to death. Period.


I'll be attending school tomorrow! I'm so psyched coz I scored an AD for DDD's retest! OMG! I was all flunked out when Faz told me the news.. If I had studied better, I'd probably aced the previous paper. No need for regrets..I'm just so happy with myself. Off to school tmr and sleepover at my house in Jurong on Wednesday.

Btw,
HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY AIL!!
Love you loads my backyard-crying-drooling over hothunks-girlfriend!
aka, the partner in crime. hahahaha!


See you lovely people!

Alhamdulillah

Hello people!

It's been ages since I updated! So much has happened and I'm trying to catch up with time coz it's passing by SO FAST right now! So here's a proper update of what has been happening:

3/07/2009
Mama and my siblings came down to Singapore!!! They surprised me coz they didn't mentioned the date that they were going to land in Singapore. The weird thing was that the night before, I dreamt that they did arrive in Singapore and were quarantined at my house in Jurong. Guess our bond is so strong that I'm given psychic powers.. Wooo~ (nonsense) Met up with them and had a family reunion with the WHOLE family at Sengkang where we celebrated my Busu's birthday.

So these past week, I've been sleeping over at Jurong during the weekends and like I promised, have been spending more time with Mama and Azman. No need to say about the sisters coz we're practically stuck to one another. Azman is soooo handsome now! Seriously! Will take a picture of him soon and show it to you guys. I bet he'll grow up to melt every girl's heart.

I'm broke again this month coz of taxi fare. Jeezzz... Coz the family wants to go somewhere and me being the Singaporean that I am.. I'm clueless about the route in Singapore. :S So what else? Taxi it is!







School wise, I feel that I need to push myself up due to the fact that I'm finishing school by the end of August and I'm off for my 6 months attachments! Can't even believe that I'm going to work next year and be an old hag, having to pay taxes and whatnot. 2 years working and insyaallah, I'll take my degree after that or maybe an advance diploma in Neurology or Cardiology. Seriously, I'd rather study than to work. Seriously.


Next Up!
I'm having a flea this coming Saturday! To all those who are free, do come down to support! It'll be held at SMU Concourse. Here's a map to guide you.
It'll be held from 1pm all the way to 8pm!

Anyway, to you.. (you know who you are :) Thank you for being so nice to my family and myself. Like getting us Macdonalds in the middle of the night and accompanying my and sha2 to watch over Azman. (playing Wii game with the smagat face of yours) hahaha! So yeah, I appreciate every single bit of it. Next up, the Flyer? :)

Through The Night

School reopens tomorrow and I have this mixed feelings. I want to go to school badly but at the same time, I'll miss the comfort of my bedroom and a book to read with all the spare time. Food has been like a delightful sin now, stuffing myself with snacks and meals that seem unlimited. Been trying to lose some kilos and this just happens to add more than what I lost. :S But hey, been much more appreciative of my curves.. Used to beat myself mentally about my size but with some smacks from theBestGF, KimK, Kimora and a paticular person *winks*, I am so overwhelmed with myself. I can go to the extent of looking in the mirror and gloating to myself. Hahaha!

I've reread Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn during my 2weeks of holiday.. I can never seem to get over the fact how beautiful these vampires and even Jacob Black seem to be in my imgination. If you were to ask me, I'd prefer Jacob to Edward. Coz Jacob is just so... un-ruled.








How Bout It??

Dreamcatcher.

Alas, I got to meet you, after so long.. I was delirious when we got to talk and had some laughs. Words could not describe my feelings at that time as surely it was impossible.. Then it was time for you to leave and the disappointment on my face was crystal, so you walked up behind me while I was sitting and you whispered into my ear something that made me smile ever so widely but instead of turning to give back my response, I woke up from that dream.. Wishing it was reality. Coz when you whispered to me, it felt so real. So genuine.. I guess I've missed you dearly till you often surprise me whenever I close my eyes..


Yes it's true..
I do miss you.

Silence

All of a sudden a shroud of grief and sadness overwhelms and I'm unsure why I am feeling this way right now. As if the throat is tight and a whimper pleads to escape, dying to unleash into a cry. I hate this feeling... This feeling that was supposedly to be extinct a few years back. I hate this feeling. It's haunting and finding out other facts doesn't seem to help either. This daunting stranger is back, having escaped from the back of my mind is now laughing in pure mockery while it sits in this chair in front of me. No it's not an illusion, neither is it a ghost.. This torture that faces me right now is a part of me.. And I don't know how to banish it for good.


For such a long while, this moment..
I really do feel alone.

Until The End Of Time

Previous post are the pictures taken from Melaka and Langkawi!

This holiday has been busy coz directly after my Langkawi trip, I had to pack and leave for Melaka.. but hey, it was worth it! So here's a re-cap of my trips:

Langkawi was not what I'd call a real adventure trip coz seriously, there was a whole lot of comfort.. I ws expecting tents or at least a run-down motel. hahaha.. call me sick or whatever, I wanted to be in a hard situation. But hey, it was awesome! I got acquinted with a whole lot of people and had SO MUCH FUN! Most of the time I was laughing my head off and turning red in the face. Had trekking the 1st day to the 7Wells. (it wasn't even a trek! just to go up a steep road -.-) That part I was disappointed coz I was expecting TREKKING not WALKING. 2nd day was awesome! Took a ferry ride to Coral Island (been there before) and snorkelled. Some of us felt there was no push to that and decided to pay extra to get dumped in the middle of the sea where the waves were chopping and snorkelled there. I swan 1.5km to shore! 1.5km!!! On the last day, we ventured in a Bats' Cave and mangrove swamp. The eagles there were so beautiful!
How can I not turn dark with all those activities??


Malacca was 2 days after my Langkawi trip. It was more relaxing and most of the time it was swimming or EATING. hahaha.. I had my crab! yummeh! The shopping malls weren't pulling my attention but I managed to get a top frm Mango. Had more of a family time there and we were 1 big happy family.. Loved every second of it!


Oh..during my Langkawi trip, something happened..


MY iTOUCH GOT STOLEN LA SEYY!!!!! WTH???? I was so sad but didnt want to bring down the mood of my fellow students since I was one of the student leaders.. Had to just enjoy myself and curse the person to die a thousand deaths in my thoughts.. Oh well....I'll get another one I guess? 3 more months of saving up my money.... -.- or rather I'll just get my own laptop! :)


Till here beautiful people!


xoxo,
TheGirlWhoCan'tBeBotheredAnymore

Pictures!