Lowest Point

Last night was the lowest point in my life. Awaken by a long distant call from my baby sister, hearing those uncontrollable sobs, just made my heart sink. It sank deeper than any trenches in the ocean, heavier than the titanic and much more aching than a death toll about to occur. My baby sister... Miles away, crying and I couldn't help her. Not even to reach out to her. The feeling of helplessness was ultimately frustrating that I felt like taking the next flight to Aberdeen with my current savings. If I had wings, I would fly over. If I had the power, I would take away all her sorrows. My baby sisters..
I swear if I could, I would take all those sorrows and give you my laughter. Take those tears and kiss the both of you with joy. Unleash the tension in your hearts and hug you for comfort. I would give you all my joy and take in all your sorrows coz I never want you to even have a single tear roll down those beautiful faces.
All I could do as the eldest was tell them to be patient and pray hard. I wanted to knock my head on the wall and just scream out. I felt helpless. My baby sisters.. If my love for the three (inclusive of Azman) of you could do wonders, I would make life perfect for you guys and never let a single hurt come in contact. That helplessness feeling just made me crumble down. Just like an avalanche, my soul came crashing down so hard, I just couldn't move.
I try my best to be the one with all the answers, with all the wisdom and guidance for my baby sisters and brother but I realised yesterday, I am just a mere human with no extraordinary gifts.. All I can do now is pray for your happiness.. I love you guys so much that I would protect with so much. Hang on there my babies.. I guess adults don't really act like adults and that they can be very immature and selfish at times. I love you guys oh so much....

Your name appeared in my head immediately but reality proved me wrong. Coz I was left staring at my handphone screen with so much hurt, my eyes began to sting and my vision was blurry.

Mizan, thank you for being such a great friend. For calling me back when my mind went blank on me. When for that moment, I seemed to forget about everything and my soul just left my body for that few seconds. Thank you for making me laugh when I thought it was impossible to even be happy. Thank you for being there when I couldn't reach out to anyone in the middle of the night, when most people were sleeping. And for once (haha) you seemed years wiser than me. For that, I thank you again.

A shout out to my bestfriend aka the 5-days-older-brother-I-never-had, Danial.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY you old guy.
Soon, I'll join in the oldies group with you.

I hope my prayers are being listened to..
Protect my baby sisters and brother for I am unable to even reach out to them right now.

My babies...
My love will never be too far away.